Episode 7 - "Queen George" with co-host Ryan

Dave and guest co-host Ryan discuss the interview process for FRUITBOWL and Ryan shares what it was like as the very first interviewee. Then, they listen to George, an Englishman in the PNW, who has some boarding school stories and special advice when it comes to his “best move.”

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

My name is George. I'm 32 and now I'm from Seattle. But originally I am from England. I moved around a bit as a kid. I guess if I was pushed, I'd say Oxford or Bristol.

I had an older sister and so I think I learned some things through the grapevine from her. I remember, I was probably four and she would have been seven. And she had just learned about French kissing and all she ever wanted to do was practice in the back of the car. We'd be driving to the grocery store, my mom would turn around and she'd be like, "God dammit, stop." Although the way she thought French kissing worked was that one person held their mouth really tight, and the other person held their mouth really wide, and then they match together. I didn't like it, wasn't into it. 

But how did I learn about sex properly? I think the first time I masturbated, or maybe the first time I came, it would have been around the age of 10. I remember watching a documentary or a TV show which was about about sex. I think this one was about penises which is telling. The signs were all there.  And I remember just kind of rubbing my dick and it feeling really good. And then it started to leak and I really fucking freaked out. But then I remembered I had read about this before, or maybe I'd watched this. This was on the TV show, maybe that was why. And I felt really good. And I distinctly remember thinking, "I don't know if I'll do that again." And I never have. But that was probably the first kind of sexual experience with myself. Masturbating to a TV show and then coming for the first time. I remember it being on a television channel with adverts. So it was probably on channel four. That's what life was like in the UK before cable. Four channels, four. 

Channel four was a little more edgy and so they were more likely to have a show about dicks. I think it was channel four that also had Queer as Folk. Oh, yeah. I definitely got off to the British version of Queer as Folk a lot. I definitely worked it out by the time that got on TV. I wanked to that all the time. 

I went to a boarding school from the age of 11 and it was a mixed boarding school. It wasn't all boys. But we were in boarding houses, in dorms with four or five other guys. And I definitely remember around the age of 11 or 12. I think we were getting ready for bed at night and I was changing. And one of the other boys was just looking at me, watching me change. And I remember feeling like I wanted to show off my dick and like impress him with it. Which is probably how I've felt since that moment. Always. Continuously. It's exhausting. But yeah, I didn't think I had a crush on him, or I didn't think I was sexually attracted to him. But I think we were all working out what sex was and what it would feel like or what it would mean. I think either that night or a few nights later, we definitely compared dicks. Got erections and compared dicks and like, felt them together. It was good.

People think that boarding school is just this riot as fuck party. That's not the case. Well at least mine wasn't, maybe I went to the wrong school. I didn't really get any dick at school, not past the age of like 16.

It's interesting because I think that gay men, the first time, it's like which one? First hand job? First blowjob? First time having anal sex? I definitely knew what I wanted to do. I just hadn't worked out how to trick someone into having sex with me. I wasn't always like that. I wasn't always this smoldering fuck piece you see before you. No, when I was younger I was much more overweight, quite shy. Shy? Maybe. Still loud, but much more tentative.

I was at a student drama festival in Scarborough, which is in the north. High school students and college students, and lots of drinking because the law is very lax in some parts of the country. And I remember spending the evening with a guy. I was about 18, 19. And he was probably 16, 17. And we were hanging out in this lounge of the hotel we were staying. Or bed and breakfast we were staying in. And I remember I got up, and as I sat down someone made a joke. I'm not sure how it happened but everyone's legs kind of rearranged. And my leg just ended up over his. And then we were all kind of snuggled together. And there was just this moment where we looked at each other, and we knew that we were going to have sex. 

And so we went up to my room and we stripped down. Started making out and feeling off each other's bodies and looking at what the other person is like. And kind of rubbing up against each other. We didn't have condoms and so we decided we were definitely not going to have full sex. Full sex, that definitely still happens. And then I remember blowing him for like, I don't know how long. But at one point he was having a great time. So was I, I really enjoyed it. But I remember at one point stopping him and being like, "Tell me when you're about to come." And he was like, "Oh, I came like three times already." And I was like, "Oh, you gotta tell me." He was like, "I thought you would notice." 

I don't know. We enjoyed ourselves. I probably got off. I'm sure I did. But I remember cuddling afterwards and him being like, "This is weird." I was like, "It doesn't have to be weird. Just cuddle." It was kind of intimate.

I think there'd been smaller moments of playing a little bit. But I think that was definitely the first time that I had a person come to my room, and us take our clothes off, and want to have sex with each other. As opposed to, I dunno, tentative handjobs somewhere. Or a rushed quiet situation. That was the first: you, me, bedroom. Let's go. It's bravery because I didn't have a lot of sex after that. That was just, I dunno, right person, right moment. Right amount of alcohol probably. 

After that, when I became older, when I started at college around 1920. I was 20 when I first went to college. And somehow by that point I'd lost a lot of that confidence. And I think because there were other people around me who were already very sexually active and had worked it all out and were just ready to go. And I was not. And so it certainly didn't just ramp up from there. I didn't have a lot of sex in college.

I think one of the most embarrassing things that happened to me was when I was at college, second year of college. A really good friend of mine who was from New Castle, she was from the north. I spent a lot of time with her. I have a friend Matt who came down to visit us in London. And he was cute, and petite, and he was a dancer. Yeah, dancers? Always a good idea because they know how to move their bodies. They're like 70% leg by weight. It's great. We were having a really good time, had some drinks. We went back to my apartment. We were kind of rolling around. And as I remember it, he was on top. Right. Yeah. 

So I was fucking him and he was riding on my dick. It was just fantastic. Lots of moaning, lots of riving, hot and sweaty, really great sex. And as I was getting close, I just went, "Oh, oh, oh, Genevieve!" Who, that's the name of the friend. And he just stopped like mid grind. He was like, "What did you just call me?" I was like, "I'm so sorry. I meant Matt." And he was like, "I'm telling her, I'm telling her right now." And grabs the phone. And as he's like casually bouncing off of my dick, he texted her. And he was like, "There you go. You should feel embarrassed." And I did, but I still came so it wasn't that bad. But yeah, shouting out a girlfriend's name when you're having sex with their best friend. I mean, it would have been better than calling him Tom or something. I think it's slightly less insulting, I don't know. Don't do drugs is my only advice. Or drink. It never ends up working out.

My best move in bed? The thing that I do that gets the most results is taking my clothes off. That almost always works. No, there are a couple of things which I really like to do which are part of the staple. I guess it's kind of like the magician circle, right? Like if I'm going to reveal all these secrets, if anyone who sees this subsequently has sex with me, they're going to be like, "Knew this was happening. I was waiting for this one."

No, I quite like to keep my underwear on for just a little bit and kind of writhe around. And then get to a point where they're lying on the bed. And I stand over them and have them pull my underwear down. Because normally what happens is they slip it over my ass. And they're like, "Ooh ass." And then they pull it down. And finally as they pull these tiny, tight briefs off me, my dick just explodes out and flops around. And they all do the same thing. They go, " Ohhh." So that's nice. That's a nice reveal. Love a good reveal. 

But then I think my personal favorite move is to slap my dick on their face. Quite hard as well. Like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. It's a little bit painful. It's a little bit surprising. But it's very dominating. And then just plunge it into their mouth and it works. 

I can only speak from my own sexual experience, but power dynamics is so strong. And so dominating someone, physically overpowering them, slapping them around a bit with a dick. That works. Just flipping someone or picking them up. That's pretty powerful. I once hooked up with this guy who, I told him, "I want you to be rough." And then it was kind of midway through and I was like, "I thought I told you I wanted you to be rough with me." And he was like, "I thought I was." And I'm like, "No." And he literally just picked me up and just threw me down on the bed. And I swear, my asshole just went, I was ready. It was fantastic. Yeah. That was really hot. Being dominated is sexy, dominating someone is always sexy. 

To pretend that you've come, right? Especially when you're topping, pretend you've come. And then keep going for like a minute or two and then actually come. Because then your bottom is like, "Ahaha." Like they think they got the deluxe service. I've done that a couple of times and yeah, they always call back. They always call back.

Well, it actually happened the first time because I was really close. And so I was making all the noises and it sounded, I thought I was going to come. I just didn't for some reason and it went away for a bit. So I just kept on grinding away. But I kind of committed to the fact that I was probably going to come. And so I just theatrically climaxed. And then just kept on pumping away until I actually did. And then it was all the sweeter. Yeah, but that played out very well.

Hmm. What would I tell myself, just discovering sex? Or what advice would I like to have been given? There's no gay sex ed. No one teaches gay men how to have sex apart from other gay men. And that can be really abusive sometimes. And so it would have been nice to have some logistics about cleaning out for anal sex. That would have been helpful, that would have been really helpful a number of times before I worked that one out. I mean now in the age of the internet it's a lot easier. And like fucking Teen Vogue killing it on teaching everyone how. Which, bravo Teen Vogue. Really, the change we need in the world.

But basic logistics about what it takes to have anal sex would have been nice when I was 18. Warming up. Breathing. The fact that you're not going to shit yourself. It's just that you have a dick in your ass, that's why it feels like you're going to shit yourself. It's because you're like stuffed full of dick, which is what you wanted. Those sorts of things would have been nice.

But I think beyond specifics or technique, which it's kind of fun to work that out. I would like to tell the 18, 19 year old version of me that confidence is a state of mind. It's not something you possess all the time. And I think I missed out on so much sex when I was younger because I was shy, or I didn't think I had a nice enough body to deserve to have sex with people, or I didn't know what I wanted. And, I did know what I wanted but I just didn't have the confidence to ask for it or demand it. And eventually once I got to the part of my life where I felt I had that confidence, I realized that everyone else was the same, you know? Not everyone, but a lot of people are super ready, super keen to have sex. They just can't push forward to that point where they're like, "Hey, you want to fuck me?" I would like to tell my younger self that if you want the confidence to do something, just make it up. Just pretend you have it and then do it. Because that makes a huge difference. Be honest about what you want. There's infinite kinds of sex out there. And all of it is available to you if you want it. You just have to ask politely