Kink is, by nature, taboo. That’s part of its appeal. Paradoxically, kinksters are often better at articulating what they want from sex because their sexual interests fall outside the boundaries of the most common sexual encounters. 

Kinksters are known for blazing trails when it comes to innovative ways to talk about sex and give consent. Consent is built into the process of negotiating together what will and what won’t go down. 

For example, in this episode, Ari describes asking potential partners to fill out a google doc questionnaire before they hookup in an effort to know what it is they want and as an introduction to Ari’s preferences and philosophies about sex.

Other people describe the green light, yellow light, red light system that allows the bottom to communicate their comfort level.

If any of the activities in either of these kink episodes interest you, I encourage you to read up or take classes on best-practices for safety protocol. Educate yourself and make sure you are clear with your partners about boundaries and safety so that every hookup can be mutually enjoyable. And have fun out there!

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It’s tempting for queer people to want to conceal our kinks in an effort to be more acceptable to straight society. Acting like vanilla heteros is just one way to live in peace during this era of government-sanctioned hostility towards queer people. But bible thumping conservatives don’t really differentiate between kinky and non-kinky queer people. So we may as well let our freak flags fly. 

In this first episode of a two part series on kink, we’ll hear a variety of stories about kink discovery, kink education, kink acceptance and first-person descriptions of amazing communities and relationships that grew from a shared interest of kink.

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Religion has a terrible track record when it comes to queer members and topics: condemnation, rejection and often, in the case of the Catholic church, exploitation and ultimately excommunication. While not all religions are anti-LGBT, most everyone I interviewed for Fruitbowl had negative experiences with their faith, especially in their  coming of age years when we didn’t have the agency to decide for ourselves if religion was something we actually wanted to participate in. Instead, it was thrust upon us and, as a result, many queer people became disenfranchised and suspicious of faith based institutions and the many self-righteous followers who feel empowered to judge us.

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To be trans in America right now is to live day to day knowing that your very existence is considered a provocation, a threat. But for the next hour and 13 minutes, I invite you to leave all the chaos and vitriol of our current political climate behind and listen to these trans and non-binary interviewees share some of my favorite Fruitbowl stories about identity, community, sex and intimacy. Not just trans stories. Human stories. Just listen and I can guarantee you’ll find something you identify with.

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College is often the first opportunity to separate ourselves, both geographically and psychologically, from oppressive families or communities. It's a chance to examine stifled urges and investigate sidelined feelings in an environment that includes others seeking similar experiences. When you combine this newfound sense of self with a bit of confidence and some good old fashioned young adult hormones, it's no wonder so many of us find ourselves falling in love for the first time at college.

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College is often the first opportunity to separate ourselves, both geographically and psychologically, from oppressive families or communities. It's a chance to examine stifled urges and investigate sidelined feelings in an environment that includes others seeking similar experiences. When you combine this newfound sense of self with a bit of confidence and some good old fashioned young adult hormones, it's no wonder so many of us find ourselves falling in love for the first time at college.

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