For queer people, our sexuality is not something that just switches on one day. It reveals itself over time - usually during adolescence - and the experience is often internal and private. Our first explorations into physical intimacy with other people often serve as a kind of test to see if we like it and help us start to define the role that sex will play in our lives as adults. High school is “go time” for these explorations and life quickly becomes a steaming stew of hormones, insecurities and hurt feelings. These first experimentations with friends or acquaintances and people that we know happen to many of us, yet we rarely share these stories with each other as adults.

In this first of four episodes dedicated to first times, Dave collects stories from thirteen different interviewees whose first time was with people they already knew.  Next up will be another high school episode followed by one about internet hookups and a fourth “first time” episode that collects stories about old-school “cruising.”  So prepare yourself because things are going to get … awkward.

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Who was your first crush? That first intense infatuation with someone special? A famous actor? A singer? An Athlete? Or was it someone you knew like another student at your school, a hot neighbor or a teacher who gave you extra attention? Whoever it was, first crushes are often the first indication that we have queer tendencies. This can be validating but also a little scary.

In case you’re a size queen and want an extra long version of this episode, our Patreon subscribers will get exclusive access to the UNCUT version of this episode that is 30 minutes longer and includes every single response to Dave’s questions about crushes. Learn more at Fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.

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America’s puritanical roots are never more exposed than they are when the subject of "self-love" is discussed or, more often, avoided by schools and parents. Some religions explicitly discourage it. But when it comes to our coming of age years, coming is often top of mind and a favored topic in the backs of school buses, online chats and locker rooms.  "Self-love" is an intensely personal experience that can often reveal our sexual preferences producing euphoria as well as deep personal shame.  This episode features stories about "self-love" and the stew of emotions it often conjures up as well as some awkward social situations.

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America’s puritanical roots are never more exposed than they are when the subject of masturbation is discussed or, more often, avoided by schools and parents. Some religions explicitly discourage it. But when it comes to our coming of age years coming is often top of mind and a favored topic in the backs of school buses, online chats and locker rooms.  Jerking off is an intensely personal experience that can often reveal our sexual preferences producing euphoria as well as deep personal shame.  This episode features stories about choking the chicken, flicking the bean, diddling the skittle and the stew of emotions it often conjures up as well as some awkward social situations.

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Many of us grow up in families and communities that never once acknowledged the existence of queer people: no exposure to queer authors, filmmakers, artists. Pornography is often the first media we see that acknowledges queer sexuality. In this episode you will hear stories of pornography found under rocks, in dumpsters, behind medicine cabinets. Grainy, distorted porn that emerged from scrambled cable channels. Porn that validated feelings that may have been impossible to articulate. Porn that provided a starting point to begin deciding what turns us on and what doesn’t.

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Now we’re getting down to the nitty gritty. For this first episode we’re going back to the beginning of our coming of age when we had no clue what sex was or what it even meant. Maybe we heard about it from our parents, our friends or maybe we even went to a library. Many of us got the wrong information or maybe it just didn’t make sense but whatever we learned we definitely wanted to know more.

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